home

about the site

the author

titles

first lines

essays

translations

acknowledgments

abraxas press

Note on Dad  

No one can keep fiction out of portraits.  I must say this, however, that as far as my fragmentary self-awareness can be sure, the fiction here probably lies more in the attitude of grudging reverence than in the facts.  Certain matters are true:

 

                   My father hugged the hod

                   that tore his ear.

 

                                      [He had] A horse corpse for shelter

                                      on Dunkirk’s escape beach.

 

                                                  [He] Struck my mother and me.

                                                  I hated him.

 

But in this last statement I’m entering the fiction zone, too.  ‘I hated him’: 3 words in about 200 are too many, too high a ratio, now.  It didn’t feel like a high percentage when the emotion was intense.  The hitting and the hatred happened, sometimes.  In families, ‘some-times’ can inflate to dirigible-size.  The story was  common.  I take it that this last part still is.

 

Miss him.  Talk to his ghost.

Takes two lives for one life to mature.

I told the priest to say

he worked hard.  By Christ he did.

   

Alan Marshfield

   

top of page                                                                                  Dad