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SHE PRAYS THAT GOD IS STILL IN PAIN

 

I did not know I loved that pair

of gloves till one fell in the rain.

The other when I reached my friend’s

clutched me like extrinsic pain.

 

I did not know my inner dark

could be so harsh as step outside

and scratch me with such awful nails

that I felt part of me had died.

 

What’s fondness if it has no room

for such despondency and pique?

A part of how I saw myself

was cut off and I could not speak.

 

Then going home I found my glove

like a wet creature in the street!

My life no longer split apart,

I laughed, felt silly but complete.

 

My darling, if you’re first to die,

will God feel then some added growth

of agony that I am lost,

since he’ll have one he loved, not both?

 

I trust, my dear, it will be so.

May he go out and search the rain

and take me to him, wet and limp,

to make himself feel whole again.

   

Alan Marshfield

   

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